it bubbles up like soda popor the back of a book coverwaiting to pop my frustration crawls along the wallsleaving dirty fingernail marksagainst the cream tinted paint and nothing bad is happeningjust the normal parts of life but when i add them to a tragic equationthe bell gets rungand my eardrums bleedand i cannot hearContinue reading “sit it out (poem)”
Tag Archives: bulimia
Writing Assignment: Worst Day Of My Eating Disorder (exercise)
I’ve been doing this so long, I have multiple memories related to the horror of having an eating disorder run and ruin my life. 7th grade – First time purging in the half bathroom of our kitchen. I chose one of the hardest, messiest foods to throw up – spaghetti. I remember being so painfullyContinue reading “Writing Assignment: Worst Day Of My Eating Disorder (exercise)”
Graphs of food intake
Reviewing the utter insanity of the anorexic and bulimic food intake was extremely powerful and motivating for me. I see spikes of pain, loss of control, hopelessness and self-hate in the lines jagging up and down across these pages. I see white knuckles and doubt, fists balled up so tightly you can’t breathe, and cuticlesContinue reading “Graphs of food intake”
it happened slowly (poem)
i dont know how it happenedbut of course i know how it happened it happened slowlylike pulling a toothlike preparing souplike glasses slipping down your nose and now i am journeying backwardsunraveling a ball of string that knows no other form and all of these new road signs look funnyeven though i have passed themaContinue reading “it happened slowly (poem)”
the ghosts of yesteryears (poem)
what happens in the space betweenwithin the tiny dots connecting timemoving us from one second to the next what happens in the overridewhen addiction surpasses reasonmaking the body bow down to unholy gods a fervor arrives in rapid descentdriving the fork in and out, up and downfaster and faster and faster until suddenly–!it is tooContinue reading “the ghosts of yesteryears (poem)”
nobody knows but me (poem)
the new day shrugs its shoulders at mei fill up on coffee and emptinessto shake off the ghosts from last night i limp through conversations with my lips tightly shut(God forbid the fear slips out or someone sees my teeth)and i set my watch by the reliefi plan to find that evening and when littleContinue reading “nobody knows but me (poem)”
Challenging Old Ideas and Rules (exercise)
My first exercise is to write out ideas and rules in my eating disorder voice and then challenge them with my healthy voice. Here goes…. My eating disorder is all my fault.Eating disorders are complicated and the result of unhealthy coping skills. It is not my fault. I’ll never have a normal relationship with food.IContinue reading “Challenging Old Ideas and Rules (exercise)”
Tasting Freedom 