i can feel iti can absolutely feel iti am not full, i am becoming fat my stomach toppling over my waistmy thighs knocking togethermy upper arms jiggling against my sides the end of the world falling on top of me!as my appetite for foodreminds me that i’m human —but how could i still be human?!?afterContinue reading “trade offs (poem)”
Tag Archives: early recovery
i am the wind (poem)
i feel trapped by recoveryknowing what i know nowand cannot un-know i have decisions to make every daysome that look back at me in black and whiteand others that settle into the shadows of gray it’s the space in between where the urges pausethat make my back itchand my scalp molt it’s like sitting onContinue reading “i am the wind (poem)”
Exploring Body Image (recovery exercise)
Exploring Your Body Image I think I must have been unaware of my body in 1st or 2nd grade… I had the joy then of playing sports without any body consciousness. I think I became aware by 3rd grade when I realized how much smaller other girls looked in their uniforms compared to me. Confident,Continue reading “Exploring Body Image (recovery exercise)”
sit it out (poem)
it bubbles up like soda popor the back of a book coverwaiting to pop my frustration crawls along the wallsleaving dirty fingernail marksagainst the cream tinted paint and nothing bad is happeningjust the normal parts of life but when i add them to a tragic equationthe bell gets rungand my eardrums bleedand i cannot hearContinue reading “sit it out (poem)”
Just because I “feel fat” doesn’t mean…
I actually AM fat! This is a revolutionary new language for my healthy self to use. EF sent me these images to illustrate that I have the power to choose which voice I’m going to listen to… which path I’m going to choose.
Unbalanced/Distorted Ways of Thinking (recovery exercise)
Another exercise from “8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder: Effective Strategies from Therapeutic Practice and Personal Experience” is to review many cognitive distortions and see which ones apply to me. Below are the distortions I think affect me. All or nothing thinking: This is also known as black and white thinking or perfectionistContinue reading “Unbalanced/Distorted Ways of Thinking (recovery exercise)”
Effective Healthy Statements (recovery exercise)
At EF’s recommendation, I’m reading “8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder: Effective Strategies from Therapeutic Practice and Personal Experience.” One section outlines many effective healthy statements for my healthy self to tell my eating disorder self. These are the ones that resonated the most for me. Effective Healthy Statements This feeling seems intolerable,Continue reading “Effective Healthy Statements (recovery exercise)”
sticky strawberry juice (poem)
it’s franticand i am, too sticky strawberry juicewraps around the corners of my bowlleft over from children’s meal time it bothers meas i sit down and try to rest my handsup on the tabletrying to be mindful, thoughtful but eating descends quickly into shovelingtasted in only tiny bitshere and there i worry i will neverContinue reading “sticky strawberry juice (poem)”
Rise Up & Recover App
I’ve using an app called Rise Up & Recover to log my meal plan, and I LOVE IT! I record what I eat (meal log) but I also record how I’m feeling while I’m eating. In addition, there is a section for notes/context and a section for ED behaviors done around the eating. I amContinue reading “Rise Up & Recover App”
Rules of Threes
When I met with my therapist EF on March 4 she gave me a meal plan that has absolutely changed my life. It’s the simplest thing in the world, but it’s my first exposure to it. It’s actually my first exposure to any kind of meal plan or approach to eating aimed at recovering fromContinue reading “Rules of Threes”
Tasting Freedom 