I’ve been doing this so long, I have multiple memories related to the horror of having an eating disorder run and ruin my life. 7th grade – First time purging in the half bathroom of our kitchen. I chose one of the hardest, messiest foods to throw up – spaghetti. I remember being so painfullyContinue reading “Writing Assignment: Worst Day Of My Eating Disorder (exercise)”
Tag Archives: shame
Graphs of food intake
Reviewing the utter insanity of the anorexic and bulimic food intake was extremely powerful and motivating for me. I see spikes of pain, loss of control, hopelessness and self-hate in the lines jagging up and down across these pages. I see white knuckles and doubt, fists balled up so tightly you can’t breathe, and cuticlesContinue reading “Graphs of food intake”
the ghosts of yesteryears (poem)
what happens in the space betweenwithin the tiny dots connecting timemoving us from one second to the next what happens in the overridewhen addiction surpasses reasonmaking the body bow down to unholy gods a fervor arrives in rapid descentdriving the fork in and out, up and downfaster and faster and faster until suddenly–!it is tooContinue reading “the ghosts of yesteryears (poem)”
and delay, they say (poem)
like water like raini have the reasons whybut it still does not make sense to mesuch fear and disdain stuffed into one tiny body and braini do not know how i ended up hereand i do not know what is ahead or what will remain so many times i have scraped the bottomand thought yesContinue reading “and delay, they say (poem)”
nobody knows but me (poem)
the new day shrugs its shoulders at mei fill up on coffee and emptinessto shake off the ghosts from last night i limp through conversations with my lips tightly shut(God forbid the fear slips out or someone sees my teeth)and i set my watch by the reliefi plan to find that evening and when littleContinue reading “nobody knows but me (poem)”
Tasting Freedom 